QUIPS & QUOTES Here are a few thoughts to lighten your day:

The trouble with the guy who talks too fast is that he often says something he hasn’t thought of yet.
If at first you don’t succeed, try reading the instructions.
Keep your temper today. Nobody else wants it.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS If you are like most of us, your best intentions and resolutions for the New Year have started to fade just a little bit. The exercise bike may be gathering a bit of dust, and it really is hard to stay on that strict diet you put yourself on after the holidays. We become very good at making excuses not to do the things we should. Like Alice in Wonderland, we give ourselves very good advice, but we often don’t follow it.

Well, we can berate ourselves for our failures, but what does that accomplish? I like the positive approach that Thomas Leonard took in one of his many thought-provoking articles, titled “The Top 10 Things You Realize As You Grow Older:”
1. Life is WAY too short, yet there IS enough time.
2. You come first.
3. That dying is only death; it’s not the end of life.
4. How grateful you are.
5. How much more precious your health becomes.
6. That you enjoy being smarter/savvier and that you make fewer mistakes.
7. That friends and family are what matter – not thrills, accomplishments or problems solved.
8. That you fretted over WAY too much, as recently as yesterday.
9. That you’ve already left your legacy; there is nothing else you “need” to do.
10. That life happens moment-to-moment and that one can feel very, very rich every moment.
© 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 by Thomas J. Leonard

Thomas Leonard, one of the founders of the coaching profession, passed away suddenly in 2003. Put in that perspective, it makes us realize how lucky we are to have the opportunity to make the most of every moment we have. Dust off that bike, practice your “push-aways” from the dinner table, and feel very rich, indeed.

THE DONUT or THE HOLE? There is an old saying that an optimist sees the donut, and the pessimist sees the hole. It’s one way or the other, depending on your viewpoint. That is often the way we approach personal or professional problems – it’s either this way or that, it’s on or off, it’s red or green. Maybe some problems are that easily solved, but many are a bit more complex. Have you considered that there are other viewpoints to think about, other ways to solve a problem?

When you are facing an “either/or” decision, look at the problem from as many different perspectives as you can. Often, a solution to a problem will occur to you that is better than the “either/or” decision you were concerned about. Here’s an exercise that may be helpful to you:

How many ways can you look at that donut and see something different?
· From the front, it looks like a fat tire.
· From the top, it looks like a flattened oval.
· Holding it close to one eye, you can see through the hole and you don’t see the donut at all (careful – that can be messy!).
· From an angle, it looks like an ellipse.
· If you could look at the donut from inside, what would it look like to you?
· How many other ways can you “see” the donut?

Do you see the donut or the hole, or can you see other perspectives?

HERDING CATS: Ten Tips for Managing People
Herding cats – picture that scenario in your mind and think about what a difficult task that would be if that were your job. Cats are independent, try to be in control of the situation at all times, and definitely don’t like to be told what to do! Managing people, from pubescents to prima donnas, can be equally as challenging. Substitute the word “people” for “cats” as you practice the following Ten Tips, and you’ll be well on your way to successful people management while maintaining your sanity, a sense of humor, and perhaps a shred of your dignity.

1. Lead Without Commanding.
Ordering cats to do anything is a waste of everyone’s time and talents. Cats usually respond better to non-threatening, non-aggressive leadership, and are more likely to accept leadership if it is offered and not imposed.

2. Earn Their Trust.
Cats need to know that their leader can be relied upon to be truthful, fair, consistent, and supportive. Respect must be given before trust can be earned. Respect who the cat is and you’ll eventually be rewarded with its trust. Trust is mutual – you must also trust the cat.

3. Be Real.
Be yourself, and be genuine about it. Kids, dogs, cats – they all can spot a phony, a posturer, a BS'er, from a mile away, and they always seem to know who really doesn’t like them, no matter how you try to disguise it. On the positive side, they also sense who does like them.

4. Give Them Space.
Cats do things for their reasons, not yours. Cats need freedom to move about without restrictions or judgment. Cats need space just to be cats. They need permission to explore, to wonder, to learn, to take charge of their own actions and responsibilities.

5. Provide Lots of Rewards.
Cats need to feel valued and affirmed for who they are and what they do. Rewards, even small treats, mean a lot and are always appreciated. Be generous with praise – and don’t expect any in return.

6. Take Time to Play.
Cats like to relax, stretch, and find ways to play. Playtime helps provide cats a positive way to relieve stress, to refresh and renew themselves, and to turn on their creative juices. Just watch a cat imagine that a feather on a string is really an exotic bird to be hunted.

7. Land on Your Feet.
Develop a win-win attitude in all your interpersonal relationships. Never back a cat into a corner, and allow everyone (yourself included) a safe exit with grace and dignity.

8. Read the Signals.
A growl, a hiss, an arched back and a ruffled tail mean “back off!” There is usually a very good reason why a cat senses danger or is reluctant to go in the direction you want it to go. Pay attention, and try to find out what’s causing the problem. Sometimes it’s not a good idea to force the issue.

9. Be Clear About Boundaries.
Cats need to know their limits. Be clear, consistent, and firm about the rules and boundaries. A spray water bottle and a loud “NO!” work wonders if used only when necessary (NOTE: the spray bottle technique isn’t recommended for people, even though it may be tempting at times…).

10. Keep the Litter Box Clean.
Well, there are some messes that must be cleaned up as a part of any manager’s job, aren’t there? Maintain a clean, safe environment in which to do your business, and you’ll have much happier cats!
© 2003 Charles Boyer, Infinite Perspectives Coaching & Consulting

NEXT MONTH: Are you working longer and harder, yet accomplishing less? Are you on adrenaline overload? You may be stressed, and a prime candidate for “burnout.” Our next Viewpoints Newsletter will focus on “Beating Burnout – tips and techniques for managing the stress in your life.”

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